Loveys can be a big deal for our kids, but as a new parent you may have questions about loveys. Let’s talk about what they are, why you might want to use one with your child, when to introduce a lovey and how to introduce a lovey.

What is a lovey?

Basically, a lovey is a comfort item. You may have also heard these referred to as a transitional object. It’s something that our child can have with them while they’re sleeping or when they are awake. A lovey can bring children comfort. Really, it is something that they love and are attached to.

Why use a lovey

Loveys can provide comfort for your child and they can be helpful  when your child is experiencing separation anxiety. Children can find comfort in their loveys when they are away from their primary caregivers, even if you are just in the next room. Loveys can also just be fun for our kids to have, many children will enjoy having this special item. 

Loveys can also be helpful when your child is in any type of childcare. When childcare is new, having the familiar lovey can help children to feel comfortable. Having a lovey can also help with the daily transition to childcare. When a child can have the lovey that they’ve had at home with them at daycare, it can help with separation anxiety and with providing connection.

What to use for a lovey

Most often, the children I know will have some sort of small stuffed animal or a blanket. Items like these tend to work well, but it can really be any item that works for your child. Of course we want to make sure that this object is something that is safe. In general, we don’t want it to be something that’s too small or have parts that can be choking hazards. 

I do prefer loveys that are on the smaller side so that they can be portable. It’s really helpful to be able to bring your child’s love with you when you’re traveling or to be able to have it in your purse or diaper bag when you’re on the go. Another thing to keep in mind is that I also find it helpful if your child’s lovey is something that you can have multiples. Having a backup of your child’s lovey can be especially important if their lovey were to get lost. It can also be handy to have a second lovey when the original one needs to be cleaned.

When to introduce a lovey

For sleep you want to wait until your child is at least one year and this has to do with safe-sleep. Prior to one year we don’t want anything with our children in their sleep space. I recommend that you speak with your child’s pediatrician at their one year appointment to make sure your child is ready to have a lovey with them while they are sleeping. However, you can introduce a lovey sooner during awake times, and you can start to introduce one at any age. 

How to introduce a lovey 

During awake times you can pair the love with times you are offering comfort to your child. So, for example, if your child comes to you and is upset you can be holding the lovey while you are hugging your child and soothing them. You can also have it with you when you are feeding them either for bottle or nursing sessions. Having a lovey with you and your child during feedings helps your child to associate it with that comfort of the feeding. Having it close to you also helps the lovey to smell like you which is something that is comforting for most children. During the day your child could also play with the lovey to continue to build attachment to it.

You can also start to introduce the lovey during the nap and bedtime routines. This would look like having the lovey with you while you are doing the routine but not placing it in the crib with your child. You could keep it in the room with them and have it within their sight.

In general,  I do find loveys, comfort items, transitional objects – whatever you want to call them – to be helpful for our children. 

In review, we want to wait until our child is at least a year old before introducing a lovey into the sleep space. You can introduce a lovey earlier during awake times and there are different ways to introduce a lovely and to support your child with building an attachment to one. 

If you have any questions or comments about any of this, please leave a comment below!