Is my child getting the sleep they need?

This is a common question for parents around their child’s sleep. Parents will often wonder if their child is getting enough sleep. Sometimes, parents will be worried their child is sleeping too much. 

These concerns can start with our newborns and continue as our children grow. The amount of sleep children require does vary based on their age, and there’s also a range for each age, so there’s not one set answer as to how much sleep your child needs. 

This is important to keep in mind, as each child is an individual and has different needs. So while your friend’s child, or even your child’s sibling, may sleep a certain number of hours each night, your child may need more – or less – and that is okay. 

This is the same for adults. Do you know how much sleep we as adults should be getting? It is generally recommended that adults sleep 7-9 hours per night. So in general, some of us need more sleep and some of us need less sleep. 

When we are born we need the most sleep and as we grow, the amount sleep we need decreases.

The National Sleep Foundation provides guidelines for how much sleep individuals need based on age. A quick google search will show that these recommendations are pretty standard, and you can see the recommendations below. Something to note is that the range listed is the recommended range, and that some of us will need slightly more sleep and some will need slightly less. This is true for our babies and children as well.

Newborns sleep a lot, though it might not always feel like it. 

If your newborn is sleeping 17 hours in a day, then that means they are awake just 7 hours in a 24 hour period. Newborns don’t necessarily sleep for long stretches though since they also need to have frequent feedings, which can be why it doesn’t feel like they are sleeping much. 

Of course, if you are concerned about how much your baby or child (or yourself) is sleeping, you should talk with their pediatrician (or your doctor). If the numbers are falling within these ranges, the amount of sleep is likely typical. 

I always encourage parents, and everyone really, to follow their instinct though, so if you feel like something is off definitely speak to your doctor. 

Why do babies need so much sleep?

Looking at these numbers, babies can spend a lot of their time sleeping. A major reason for this is that babies are growing and changing so much from the moment that they are born. 

We can see this by looking at our newborns at birth and again at one year. On average, babies will triple their birth weight in one year! That’s a lot, just think if you were to triple your weight in one year, that would be a crazy amount of growth! In the first year babies are reaching so many milestones too. Our newborns are so tiny, but their brains are working so very hard. 

It is really impressive what babies accomplish in their first year when you think about, and it makes sense why these little ones need so much sleep.

Why is there a range for the amount of sleep we need?

The amount of sleep each of us needs depends on so many different things. 

Some of the reasons some of us need more sleep than others can just be hard wired into who we are. Some of us have higher sleep needs and some have lower sleep needs. The National Sleep Foundation recognizes this and includes sleep totals that may be appropriate. You can learn more about that here.

Things like physical activity can impact the amount of sleep we need. Maybe you have noticed that on days you are more physically active, you find you are more tired and need more sleep. 

We are each different, and this is true too for our babies and children. So, I wouldn’t worry about comparing how much your child sleeps to how much your friend’s child sleeps. 

What you want to pay attention to is your child. If their sleep is falling within the recommended ranges and they are happy and alert during the day and meeting milestones, then it is probably safe to say they are getting enough sleep. 

Something else we want to pay attention to is when there are changes to the schedule, such as when dropping naps. Our preschoolers, 3-5 years, need 10-13 hours within 24 hours which includes naps. Some children will continue to nap until they are 5, and some children will have stopped napping by 3. 

Whether or not our preschoolers are napping though, they still need on average a total of 10-13 hours. So, this means that if they have stopped napping it is a possibility that they will need more sleep overnight. 

I found this to be true with my daughter when she dropped her nap. I’ll admit though, at the time I didn’t know much sleep and didn’t think to give her the chance to get more sleep at night at first. She showed us that she needed more sleep, however, and when we started doing earlier bedtimes she started sleeping longer overnight and was just happier overall.

What should I do if I am concerned about how my sleep my child is getting?

My first recommendation would be to check with your pediatrician about your concerns. I would also keep a log for at least a week to keep track of the actual amount of sleep your child is getting, if you aren’t doing this already. 

Sometimes we can be surprised and learn that our child is getting more or less sleep than we actually thought. 

If you’ve talked to your pediatrician and ruled out any medical reason why your child may not be getting enough sleep, but you still can’t figure out how to help child get the sleep they need; then it would be a great time for us to talk and explore options for more support.

Barbeau DY, Weiss MD. Sleep Disturbances in Newborns. Children. 2017; 4(10):90. https://doi.org/10.3390/children4100090 https://www.mdpi.com/2227-9067/4/10/90/html