How important are bedtime routines?

Bedtime routines are very important and are something that everyone can benefit from. With older kids, I know it’s the end of the day and everyone is getting tired and some of us may be getting cranky, but having that routine is still important. 

For newborns and babies, it may seem like they are unaware so why bother with a routine, but they are taking in more than we think so again, that routine is still important. 

We all have some sort of bedtime routine if you think about it, getting in pajamas, brushing teeth, washing our face and so on. It would be hard to go right from our active day to jumping into bed and falling asleep, and this is typically true for our kids too.

What should our bedtime routine look like?

We want our bedtime routines to be calming, so that they help our children wind down and prepare them for sleep. The regular tasks like feeding, diaper change, putting on pajamas and putting on a sleep sack can all be part of the routine. When we do them in the same order each night, our babies learn to expect that sleep is coming. We can add singing a song or reading a story along with a pacifier, and placing your baby in their bassinet or crib, and the bedtime routine is done. 

You want to try to avoid stimulating activities during the sleep routines when possible. For example, for some babies and kids bath time can get them alert and excited. If that’s the case for your little one, you may find it better to do bath time at a different time of day rather than during the bedtime routine. 

We can also prepare for the bedtime routine by dimming the lights in the house, switching from overhead lighting to dimmer lamps or closing blinds if it is still bright outside, and by turning off any screens at least an hour before bed.

 

How long should our bedtime routine be?

So, there’s no set time on how long the routine should be and it may take some trial and error to find what works for your family. With that said, bedtime routines don’t have to be too elaborate.

 For our infants, we can keep it short at about 20-30 minutes. For toddlers, you can expect the bedtime routine to take a little longer, about thirty minutes or more if a bath is part of your routine. 

If your routine is shorter or slightly longer, but it is working for you, then I would say that is okay and you don’t need to change it. I do find it helpful to cap the bedtime routine so that it isn’t getting too long. When the routine gets too long, the kids can end up getting overtired so we don’t want to miss that window. 

Why are bedtime routines longer for toddlers?

As our children grow, their routines will change. As babies get older and become toddlers, bedtime routines can be a little longer. Some of the things will be the same, like diaper change or using the potty and putting on pajamas. 

Toddlers like to practice their independence and can help you more with some of these tasks. When we let them help though, it does tend to take longer, and that is okay; we want to let them help and just plan for the extra time. 

We may also see that as our kids get older, they may start to resist the bedtime routine. I find that involving them in the routine and giving them some choices can be really helpful for this. For example, we can let them pick out their pajamas. I find that giving them a choice between two pairs of pajamas can help too. If they are trying to pick from a dozen different options, then making that choice can become overwhelming.  If we are doing a bath before bed, then the routine can also be a little longer. 

Should we have a routine before nap time too?

We don’t want to forget about naps as having a routine before naps is also important. It doesn’t need to be as long as the routine before bed, so a simplified version of the bedtime routine is perfect. 

For infants a routine of around 10-15 minutes tends to be good, and up to 20 minutes for toddlers. Of course, there will be times where a nap happens on the go or something happens that interferes with the bedtime routine. So, don’t panic if this happens every once in a while, it is just part of life. 

You may have heard of the 80/20 rule, which I am a fan of. You aim to follow the schedule and routine at least 80% of the time, and the other 20% of the time it is okay to be more flexible. 

Try to be consistent with your bedtime routines

Consistency is so important, not just with our bedtime routines but with all our routines in general. Children really do thrive off of routines and knowing what to expect, even if at times they are fighting it. 

Having a consistent routine before sleep really helps babies and children, and even us adults, prepare for a restful night of sleep. I recommend that both parents follow the same routine. 

Having a consistent routine also helps if you ever have the need for someone else to put your child to bed. I can tell anyone for bedtime we put on pajamas, use the potty, read three books, brush teeth, then we sing a song and lights out. 

Toddlers will often push limits, during bedtime routines this can look like asking for one more book. When you have a consistent routine, it is easy to say ‘I know you want one more book, but this is how many books we read at bedtime and now it is time for bed. I can read you that book tomorrow’. 

As mentioned earlier though, the 80/20 rule applies to bedtime as well so don’t panic if the routine is different for a night or two. As soon as you are able, just jump right back into your usual routine.

What is your bedtime routine like? Share what has worked for you in the comments below! If you are still figuring out what a good bedtime routine looks like for you and your kids, then click below to schedule your free discovery call!